Friday, September 26, 2008

We NEED a damaged President

Yes, we truly need another four years of general panic and fear-based decision-making, because it's so clear how much good that has done for everyone who still has a job. Look at how strong out reputation is among the nations of the world! Look at how strong our dollar is in worldwide currency markets!

I swore I would keep my service record out of this election cycle, but, following the example of our Great Statesman of Straight Talk, I see now that commitments and past convictions are not nearly as important as doing everything possible to see that John McCain gets a chance to be our Final Finalist in the Panoply of P!$$-Poor Presidents.

I seriously doubt I will live through the next president's term, whether that president is Obama (my true preference, should it be unclear to the irony-impaired) or McCain, whose campaign I've decided to try on for size here, since I'm dead anyway and won't have to live with the consequences. At least I hope that's the case, but then I've been unlucky before. Still, a lot of things would need to change very fast and very dramatically in this country to ensure I would make it to 2012.

Some background first. I served in the U.S. Army on active duty from May of 1980 through May 1984, and then for 2 years of inactive reserve before getting an honorable discharge, including a Good Conduct medal and some other bolo badges in 1986. It is very likely that the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) diagnosis that is part of why I doubt I have 4 more years to live, came in large part from that period of service. But unlike McCain, I'm not claiming that as a qualification for high office. Heck, I'm too depressed to even go through the pointless humiliation of trying to get the Veteran's Administration to reject my claim for disability payments. And now I understand that this was probably my personal failing all along, not considering my greatest personal liability as my greatest selling point for the Presidency. I too should have decided that my ex-spouse was too ugly and damaged and that I needed to trade up for someone with better hair, more money and no need for a back brace.

I no longer have access to meaningful health care, though that may not be a bad thing, since I really don't relish living through the aftermath or the cleanup period made necessary by the past eight years of executive mismanagement and outright theft of the American Dream, or the principles that it -- however imperfectly -- was once based on.

What I have to wonder is this:

Why is a jerk-off fighter jock, who never got along with his fellow service members, who has never been respected or carried much weight at his present day-job as U.S. Senator -- why is this sort of record considered a qualification for the Presidency? Why is anyone -- press or public citizen -- taking this jerk seriously? Maybe that's the true mystery behind McCain's enigmatic smile? Or perhaps the world ended years ago and we're all actually in Hell.

That's it! The Rapture came, I was Taken, and this is all just a bad dream. Thank you, Jeezus!

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